Codependency And #MeToo — A New Way Forward! —by Dr. Anne Brown | Backbone Power
So, to recap Part One, we discussed our history as women as it relates to our relationship with men and how up until the middle to late 20the century we didn’t have laws to protect us from abuses. Women, along with children, were the property of men. Men could abuse us with no consequences. We also discussed codependency and what it means as it relates to our discussion here. We are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please.
The focus of wanting others’ approval may keep us from acknowledging there might be abusive behavior coming from the person whose approval we want. The need for harmony might prevent us from realizing we may be enabling abusive behavior. Or any combination of the above. We don’t have the tools to deal with abusive behavior, so this also drives us to avoid bringing it to consciousness. And we probably have a history of being abused or exploited so it feels familiar. We add these traits to our history of being a property that taught us to be compliant, obey, no rights, no voice, serve, be the extension of the man and we are completely groomed and ready for sexual abuse.
Consequences of These Two Paradigms!
- Service to Abusers
- No voice
- No Rights
- Endure Abuse
- Poor self-esteem
- Please others at all cost
How do we live once we are away from the abuse? The above coping skills for life are certainly not going to help us live a life of self-respect and dignity.
When I get upset about the state of the world, the number of injustices we are seeing, the extent of abuse, the bullying, people dying from addictions caused by greed, I go into my wave my magic wand world. I would like to have the power to:
- Eliminate all bullying-any times someone tried to bully they would receive an electric shock.
- Anyone who was about to be sexually (or physically) abused would be taught to Scream No and Slap the person hard across the face. The slap would be the universal signal for the troops/other women to come in and assist.
- Anytime someone was about to ingest a toxic substance it would turn into a delicious Kale salad.
- Whenever a child was about to be hurt- a guardian angel/hero would come into protecting the child.
- When someone was about to get money from stepping on another person’s face/soul/being, the money would magically go back where it belonged.
I could go on and on, but let’s see what we can do to regain our dignity.
New Tools for Safe Situations
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