Codependency And #MeToo — A New Way Forward! —by Dr. Anne Brown | Backbone Power


So, to recap Part One, we discussed our history as women as it relates to our relationship with men and how up until the middle to late 20the century we didn’t have laws to protect us from abuses. Women, along with children, were the property of men. Men could abuse us with no consequences. We also discussed codependency and what it means as it relates to our discussion here. We are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please.

The focus of wanting others’ approval may keep us from acknowledging there might be abusive behavior coming from the person whose approval we want. The need for harmony might prevent us from realizing we may be enabling abusive behavior. Or any combination of the above. We don’t have the tools to deal with abusive behavior, so this also drives us to avoid bringing it to consciousness. And we probably have a history of being abused or exploited so it feels familiar. We add these traits to our history of being a property that taught us to be compliant, obey, no rights, no voice, serve, be the extension of the man and we are completely groomed and ready for sexual abuse.

Consequences of These Two Paradigms!

How do we live once we are away from the abuse? The above coping skills for life are certainly not going to help us live a life of self-respect and dignity.

When I get upset about the state of the world, the number of injustices we are seeing, the extent of abuse, the bullying, people dying from addictions caused by greed, I go into my wave my magic wand world. I would like to have the power to:

I could go on and on, but let’s see what we can do to regain our dignity.

New Tools for Safe Situations

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Psychotherapist, Speaker, Coach, and Author of “Backbone Power The Science of Saying No” | New Release Audiobook: