Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)

In Part I, we discussed how the codependent is a perfect victim for the narcissist. We discussed our working definition of codependency: a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. Codependents take care of others, often ignoring or tolerating their abuse, avoiding confrontation, and enabling the “bad” behavior. Narcissists, on the other hand, come with three significant distinctions: grandiosity, seeking excessive attention, and lack of empathy.

In Part I, we also looked at the seven deadly sins of narcissism as discussed in the book, Why is it Always About You: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism, by Sandy Hotchkiss. We looked at how the codependent is a perfect prey for the narcissist, given the discussed dynamics.

Now, we are going to give the codependent some tools to get out from under the clutches of the narcissist’s seven deadly sins.

Shame

Magical Thinking

Arrogance

My codependent recovery is giving me self-esteem, which means I am not open to being insulted. To be in recovery, I am now open to my emotions. I can feel them, I can identify them, I am proud of them, and numbness is not an option for me anymore. I will identify your arrogance and understand it is to cover up insecurity. I understand this cesspool of insecurity because I am clawing my way out of its darkness. Arrogance is not attractive to me anymore. I don’t see it as confidence. Confidence is not at the expense of others. Confidence does not have to step on anyone’s soul. Arrogance leaves its footprints.

Envy

Entitlement

Exploitation

Bad Boundaries

This article was originally published on Recovery.org

© 2019 Dr. Anne Brown; Psychotherapist, Speaker, and Author of Backbone Power The Science of Saying No

Psychotherapist, Speaker, Coach, and Author of “Backbone Power The Science of Saying No” www.backbonepower.com | New Release Audiobook: http://bit.ly/2VMTr9W