How to Leave A Narcissist!

“Stop Asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” ~Charles J. Orlando

Today we are going to address leaving a narcissist emotionally and physically. Many people feel they cannot leave physically because of logistical concerns (e.g. money, no support system, housing, etc.), so leaving emotionally becomes vitally important. Knowledge is the best weapon you have in this scenario.

The Components of Emotional Abuse


  • Blaming
  • Criticism/devaluing
  • Gaslighting/circular conversations

1: Lying

The way you language the event (describing the person’s behavior in facts), the writing it all down, the reading and rereading, will help you not question yourself. I personally hope, if you need a page called Lies I have been Told, you will leave the relationship immediately. Remember in a new relationship with a Narcissist he/she will charm you while making fake promises to pull you in so notice this and act accordingly.

2: Blaming

3: Criticizing and Devaluing

When you are with healthy people, you go home feeling good and you go back to your life. When you are with unhealthy people, you go home and ruminate about what you said, he or she said, should you call, what you did wrong etc. If you are ruminating, it is probably time for relationship housecleaning.

4: Gaslighting


“Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a ‘someday better’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive” ~Ramani Durvasula

​© 2019 Dr. Anne Brown, Author Backbone Power The Science of Saying No and Narrator of Backbone Power Audiobook

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Psychotherapist, Speaker, Coach, and Author of “Backbone Power The Science of Saying No”