“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Aristotle
OK we all know this right? And yet how many of us enter into the most intimate relationship with our partners “saying nothing.” For those who still can’t discuss sex, it is time to lift that veil. Requests in the domain of sex to many are the Everest of requests so to speak. So many men equate a negative response to requests in this area as a reflection of their inadequacy. Women know this, don’t want to offend, and so say nothing. Sex then goes into the “be nothing” category.
For new couples, I recommend you talk about sex, what works, preferences, moods, curiosity, frequency, always with a focus on the positive (I love it when vs. I hate it when). You don’t have a history to overcome so jump on this opportunity to start fresh!
For couples that have been together for many years, if no one wants to talk about sex, no problem. If one wants to talk about sex and the other doesn’t “Houston we have a problem”.
I am going to help you out. Tell your partner you’d love for him or her to read this article you found. Partner if you are reading this article your honey wants to talk to you about a juicy subject! We all know sex is infinitely more satisfying when everyone is excited! Right! I trust you said Right! So find a good time (page 94–95 of my book gives explicit guidelines for having difficult conversations), sit down and start talking.
“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” Bill Cosby
© 2019 Dr. Anne Brown; Psychotherapist, Speaker, and Author of Backbone Power The Science of Saying No. Permission needed for any form of reproduction.
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