Say No to Abusive Relationships Forever!

Unfortunately, when you grow up with emotional or physical abuse your body can wire love and abuse together and it thinks that is normal. Some people who grew up with abuse have the ability and resilience to say NEVER again. Often we find if there was one person who provided unconditional love the child can gravitate away from abuse and in many cases give back to those in abusive situations.

If you, however, find yourself in abusive relationship after abusive relationship, it is time to open your eyes to this pattern and make different choices. Many times you will trick yourself into an abusive relationship because the abuse is less. Abuse is abuse. Being abused 7 nights, 5 nights, 2 nights, or 1 night a week is still abuse and a deal-breaker. You need to leave!

Each abusive situation has different distinctions and to be safe all will optimally require you to have help to leave. Reach out to organizations that can help you leave, churches you trust, family or friends who understand, social service organizations that are competent or anyone who you think can help you or you and your children leave. The most important distinction for the logistical aspect of leaving is to be safe. Make requests of people who are competent and you trust.

Unfortunately, after you are out, the challenge becomes the brainwashing you have undergone. You then can become your own worst enemy. I strongly encourage you to refuse to listen to any chatter you have that suggests you should go back. Examples of chatter you need to decline”

1. “It wasn’t that bad.”
2. “It won’t happen again.”
3. “It was my fault.”
4. “No one else will have me.”
5. “I can fix it if I just keep the house clean.”

Brainwashing is powerful and you must work hard to understand believing that chatter keeps the abuse going. Do you want to be your own worst enemy or best friend?

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Psychotherapist, Speaker, Coach, and Author of “Backbone Power The Science of Saying No”